Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
