is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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