i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We are two peas in an std pod
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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