do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize