I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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