I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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