we're blogging at a bar
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
