WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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