everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize