So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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