She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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