Sponge bath it is.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wish there were birth control emojis
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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