The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
