My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
