Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize