he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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