that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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