Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
