Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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