The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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