Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
