You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
