He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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