it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
