It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
40s are totally the cure
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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