I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
be right there i have to get my cape
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
