I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
