Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
