Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
