A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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