wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
