rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
