The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
