no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
