Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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