You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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