but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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