Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
