threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
