why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The feeling are messing with the penis
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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