Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
