Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
