this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize