Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
