I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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