those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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