I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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