you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
