I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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