Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
