you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
