You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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