i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
