Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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