He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
