her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This is my gift to your gina
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
