just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
