so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
