just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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