brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
