it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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