It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
