so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
